To me, sexual sovereignty is a deep healing call. It is a call to the breakdown of marriage for economic means, the breakdown of colonization, the release of transactional “power-over,” in short; a call to a total re-organization of society.
Have you encountered that dull (or maybe sharp) fear when you really stand your ground? When you “change the rules”? When you claim and care for your feelings in the moment no matter how it affects others?
The old cultural program says that women are not free and need men to survive. And that women cannot freely pursue pleasure. Men on the other hand not only can, but in fact need and deserve all the pleasure they want. Is it really still like this?
Let’s look at our sexual histories as women. In my own sex life, there has been a deeply engrained pattern to please my man. This has meant numbing out my own needs. This was supported and supposedly normal in my cultural programming.
But if you are like me some part of you is deeply realizing or has already realized that you are really okay without always pleasing your man. You can say “no” anytime. You can seek out your own brand of pleasure. You can be open and non-judging as to what this looks like. You can ask for what you want and educate the people in your life as to how to love you better. You can be an equal, empowered, BADASS goddess-priestess woman! And the world doesn’t fall apart!
What is sexual sovereignty?
It’s not only being in touch with your body and being able to give yourself an orgasm. But being able to “wear” your sexuality in public and not feel shame. Feeling comfortable to be totally yourself and in your body anytime, anywhere. Being able to set healthy boundaries and respect the boundaries of others. Knowing what is the best sexual experience for you and being able to communicate it – and receive it! Being able to channel your sexual energy into your creativity, career, parenting and finances. Creating life the way you were meant to live it.
But let’s be gentle with ourselves. This is not going to happen overnight. It’s hundreds of years of undoing cellular memory and ancestral patterns. This is why we need each other, sisters.
I love you for being on this path with me. You are in a woman’s body and you came here to be part of this change. *If you happen to be a sensitive man reading this blog, kudos and blessings to you! Thank you for your love and for your open heart. 🙂
I want to share more with you this year about my own personal journey. The more I work with women, the more I see that I am not alone.
So please know that you are in good company. You can always comment on these blogs by following the link at the bottom. You can also join the Sacred Sensuality Sisterhood on Facebook. I post there on almost a daily basis during the week and other sisters post and share their thoughts and experiences.
Let’s make some fun happen this year! That will be the most healing of all!
Love is your nature,
– Zoey Wren