It disheartens me how much natural sexual expression is thwarted.  Sexual energy is so precious and sacred.  Yet most of us flail around in the bedroom, looking for a “role” to play.

Do you fake orgasm?  Do you egg your partner on so sex can be over and done with?  Do you have sex because your partner wants to even though you don’t?  Do you feel you have to finish even if you’re having no fun, or even in pain?

These are sad things but I can write them because I have lived them.  I have lived them for years and years in my own marriage.  Until I couldn’t live them anymore…..  That’s when I decided to get help.  I decided to get sex coaching.  Then I became a sex coach myself, to help others.

Sexual energy is beautiful and powerful.  The female body is beautiful and powerful. She is sensual and sensitive and exquisitely diverse.  She can go for hours, have multiple orgasms, go higher and higher into the most ecstatic states….

What’s in the way of this?

Not being your feminine self!
Not knowing who you are!
Not defining truly pleasurable sex for you  – and asking for it!

Only very recently is research starting to poke its head up in mainstream media with the truth about female sexuality.  We are learning that women are different.  Women need different things to be turned on.  Women need emotional connection and compassion.  Women need time and relaxation.

Without this information we went by what we knew.  And part of this was patriarchal patterns about the meaning and importance of sex.

In a patriarchal society, sex is coupled with feeling secure as a woman, feeling valued, loved and accepted.  Then there’s the part that is still wired from a hunter-gatherer society, where women default to having men as physical protectors.

Our brains still think we need men for strength, sustenance and protection.
We are wired to attain love, value, security, protection and safety by providing sex in return. 
  That’s where the pressure to perform really starts.

And then part of this issue is that it is taboo to talk about our feelings around sex or during sex with our partners.

Do you want to learn how to get the conversation going around being your true self in the bedroom? Watch here.

Remember, Love is your Nature!
– Zoey Wren

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